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Showing posts with label WWE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WWE. Show all posts

Thursday, 10 April 2014

Mourning The Streak

Sunday night saw the end of one of the WWE's greatest ever in-ring performers, and possibly it's most enduring character. Monday morning was characterised by cries of animal pain when a lot of UK fans realised that the Undertaker's 21-match undefeated streak at Wrestlemania had been brought to an unexpected and anti-climactic end at Wrestlemania 30 by Bu-rooooock Lesnar. Since then, the sudden death of the newly-inducted Hall of Famer, The Ultimate Warrior, has seen some of the anger directed towards WWE's scriptwriters tempered.

Three days down the line though, and the decision to end what was considered an immortal streak is beginning to make sense. In fact, it was a night that revealed why nothing should be considered immortal. The opening to Wrestlemania 30 saw the host, the 'immortal' Hulk Hogan deliver a doddery and disappointing promo, calling the Superdome the Silverdome. Behind his outdated sunglasses and hair extensions, Hogan has been delivering limp, disconnected promos for weeks in the run-up to Wrestlemania and needed Stone Cold and The Rock to save his blushes in what would have been a dire opening without the stars from the Attitude Era. Immortality getting its ass kicked, take one.

The first televised fight of the night was Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H, and there was only ever going to be one winner here to allow, as predicted, Daniel Bryan to go on to win the Triple Threat championship match and see 75,000 fans chanting 'Yes!' amid a storm of ticker tape. A surprise here would have seen the whole event fall flat on its face and, other than an unlikely CM Punk return, the customary surprise pop that makes Wrestlemania infamous had to come from somewhere else. Other than the new Andre The Giant Battle Royale match, where else would you find that shock factor that keeps wrestling fans coming back? The rest of the card all looked like foregone conclusions, including Lesnar vs. The Streak.

And that's where the danger lies. Every year up until this point, you gave the challenger a sporting chance of beating The Dead Man. This year, Lesnar's challenge was credible but didn't carry the weight of a Triple H or a Shawn Michaels. For someone to beat The Streak, they sure had to be one of the immortals themselves. Brock Lesnar may well become a Hall of Famer one day, but he is not an immortal.

The Streak also had to end cleanly. Imagine the outcry had an interference ended the Undertaker's legacy. Ending it clean meant that we could all move on - no one got screwed and the Undertaker was shown to be what he is: a 49-year-old wrestler who had had his day and wanted to call it a day. The match itself was extremely dull, lacking in intensity and proved that Taker needs pacier opponents to help him through matches. Much the same can be said for Kane, and his star waned long ago on the basis that he is still performing regularly.

The end of the streak also does wonders for Lesnar and, to an even further extent, Paul Heyman. Heyman's work with CM Punk and Lesnar has been one of the main reasons to tune into Raw over the last two years, and carrying the client that beat The Streak re-enthuses his character. We know Paul Heyman puts over the bad guy, but now he has enough weight behind him to continue doing so with other big names once Lesnar leaves.

The other point is that, as well casting Lesnar's heel status in iron, who else could beat The Streak and live with themselves after it? Lesnar has no link to the fanbase; he's an irregular performer written to be a prizefighter. Shawn Michaels had to be asked in-ring by Ric Flair to end the Nature Boy's career - the Undertaker character meant that it had to be an unwilling end, and that could only be done by a mercenary with no plans to be anything otherwise. Lesnar, based on his UFC credentials, is also probably the guy you would least like to fight in real life. Him beating the ageing Phenom on any other stage but Wrestlemania doesn't seem so unbelievable.

The hollowness that followed that much was surreal. It was like that gasp of air a warrior takes after being stabbed. No one expected the loss. Every time the Undertaker kicked out of an F5, you saw it coming - the fun was seeing how late he could leave it. As predictable as wrestling can be, no one should be unbeatable, and that's what The Undertaker had become. All the best wrestling plots come from out of nowhere.

The end of The Streak may have felt like the lights coming on at a party, but all parties have to end, and there'll be others. Thank you, Taker.
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Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Dear Santa...

Being that I only learned the truth about Father Christmas at the age of 13 (I know, even I don't know how it took that long), I thought I'd celebrate the 10-year anniversary of the end of my childhood by writing out my Christmas wish list* this year. I hasten to add that I also learned the truth about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny in the same car journey back from Tesco. Scarred on my memory, you might say.

I know it's still November, but as soon as the advent calendar comes out, it's Christmas time for me. And if, like me, your list contains a number of items which would be cheaper to order internationally, it pays to think ahead. For your family's sake, of course... So here it is:

 
First on the list are, unsurprisingly, records. I still have Lana Del Rey's Born To Die at the top of my must have list and I'm hoping to get it checked off pretty soon. My usual eBay store imports it from America for around £25, although HMV stock it in store for a similar price. I'm also hoping to tick off the Arctic Monkey's debut, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, and Kanye's Late Registration (remember? Before he became a dick).

Continuing on the music theme, I have No On Here Gets Out Alive, the Jim Morrison biography in my sights. At just a tenner, it would make a great stocking filler - if I don't buy it first.

And what could go better with a music biography than, you guessed it... BBQ sauce? A teenager in a man's body, I've been religiously tuning into WWE since the late nineties and will forever hold good ol' Jim Ross as the ultimate play by play commentator. So, when I found out over Twitter that the big man has his own brand of 'Bar-B-Q' sauce, it had to go on my list. You can find it for just £3.99 a bottle over on American Soda.

Another small bottle of joy, but not quite so cheap, is my favourite aftershave: Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier. I've been wearing it since I was 16 and no Christmas would be complete with topping up the supply store.

A little off the general Christmas track, I've been hoping to see Book of Mormon since it arrived on the West End earlier this year. Wouldn't it be nice if tickets turned up come Christmas morning? Mormons do Christmas, right?

Generally, when I can't think of anything that I'd like for Christmas, a trip to the January sales is the way forward. This year is clearly different, but if I do pop to the sales, I'll be on the look out for a pair of Chelsea boots. Office do a pair by their house brand, Ask The Missus,  for £74.99. Not the most outrageous price to pay.

And finally, the present I always wanted but never got (woe is me), a Mr Frosty ice lolly maker. I'll always remember the advert jingle; 'Mr Frosty is such fun, he makes treats for everyone.' 
Maybe, just maybe, this year's the year...

*very much wishes and not all realistic
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