Dear Santa...

Being that I only learned the truth about Father Christmas at the age of 13 (I know, even I don't know how it took that long), I thought I'd celebrate the 10-year anniversary of the end of my childhood by writing out my Christmas wish list* this year. I hasten to add that I also learned the truth about the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny in the same car journey back from Tesco. Scarred on my memory, you might say.

I know it's still November, but as soon as the advent calendar comes out, it's Christmas time for me. And if, like me, your list contains a number of items which would be cheaper to order internationally, it pays to think ahead. For your family's sake, of course... So here it is:

 

First on the list are, unsurprisingly, records. I still have Lana Del Rey's Born To Die at the top of my must have list and I'm hoping to get it checked off pretty soon. My usual eBay store imports it from America for around £25, although HMV stock it in store for a similar price. I'm also hoping to tick off the Arctic Monkey's debut, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not, and Kanye's Late Registration (remember? Before he became a dick).

Continuing on the music theme, I have No On Here Gets Out Alive, the Jim Morrison biography in my sights. At just a tenner, it would make a great stocking filler - if I don't buy it first.

And what could go better with a music biography than, you guessed it... BBQ sauce? A teenager in a man's body, I've been religiously tuning into WWE since the late nineties and will forever hold good ol' Jim Ross as the ultimate play by play commentator. So, when I found out over Twitter that the big man has his own brand of 'Bar-B-Q' sauce, it had to go on my list. You can find it for just £3.99 a bottle over on American Soda.

Another small bottle of joy, but not quite so cheap, is my favourite aftershave: Le Male by Jean Paul Gaultier. I've been wearing it since I was 16 and no Christmas would be complete with topping up the supply store.

A little off the general Christmas track, I've been hoping to see Book of Mormon since it arrived on the West End earlier this year. Wouldn't it be nice if tickets turned up come Christmas morning? Mormons do Christmas, right?

Generally, when I can't think of anything that I'd like for Christmas, a trip to the January sales is the way forward. This year is clearly different, but if I do pop to the sales, I'll be on the look out for a pair of Chelsea boots. Office do a pair by their house brand, Ask The Missus,  for £74.99. Not the most outrageous price to pay.

And finally, the present I always wanted but never got (woe is me), a Mr Frosty ice lolly maker. I'll always remember the advert jingle; 'Mr Frosty is such fun, he makes treats for everyone.' 

Maybe, just maybe, this year's the year...

*very much wishes and not all realistic