Growing pains

I have a dirty, disgusting habit. I can't kick it. I find myself longing to do it with other people... in front of other people. It's a burden on my friends and family and there's nothing they can do to stop it.

I sing. I sing a lot. And those around me are forced to live with it.
What's more, I sing showtunes. I sing showtunes on repeat. At uni, I lived in a house of typically hetero guys. They didn't know about my habit until it was too late. The contracts were signed and I had Love Never Dies on repeat. They grew used to it. I went to the gym with them, I drank with them and I played too much FIFA with them. No one was interested in a duet, though. Despite being one of the lads, it was something they couldn't really share in.

Musical theatre has always been a bit of an odd fit. I started performing when I was 11 and was generally encouraged to do it by those around me. I was good at it. I was also good at sport. I competed in as many as I could. Football, tennis, cricket, athletics. That came at a cost. Unless you're holding a guitar or sat behing a piano, singing doesn't give you much street cred in your teens. Particularly when you put on make up to do it and you have to regularly miss playing for your football team to go to rehearsal. I'm not getting the violin out, I'm just saying that it was difficult for my mates to understand.

The best thing is that, as you get older, people mature and the joking becomes more affectionate. My former housemates have already ribbed me for starting this blog, which I expected, but I know there's nothing malicious in it.

Much of the surprise for my housemates (bar the one who knew me before uni) was that until we moved in together in second year, I came across as quite a typical guy. Pool, beers, football and women. When I went to uni, I deleted some of the musicals from my iTunes and, having been part of theatre groups for as long as I could remember, let my hobby slide. No one around me was interested in it and I was too busy having fun in a new city to go and find those who were.

To an extent, I regret it. But I also know that the amazing three years I had at uni would likely have been very different. Fortunately, my enjoyment of singing hasn't disappeared. A lot of my friends now live in London, pursuing it professionally. I envy them. I could have taken that route and might have done well. But now I have a good job using another of my loves; writing. I'm not going to complain about my lot.

13 year-old Timler.

That brings us to the present. I've decided to get back up on stage. I'm due to move in with one of my housemates from uni over the summer and it's not fair to put him through the constant singing again. It needs channeling. So, last night, I went and visited a local adult theatre company that I performed with almost 10 years ago. Those who were still there remembered 13 year-old me, even though he's since been re-packaged, shaves regularly and no longer sings like a chorister. It was a real compliment. I sang for them. There were no nerves. I'm going back next week, let's see what happens...